Tags
Accident, car, car accident, emotional attachment, Emotions, feelins, Heartbreak, possessiveness, Scratches, Trauma
I saw a gleaming Porsche in my colony yesterday. I eyed the beauty with a single thought, ‘How does it’s owner manage to sleep peacefully? Every night this dream is parked outside unguarded; must be possessive agony till he/she sees it safe and sound next morning.’
I found out the next day…Today. The Porsche was fine. My car had been banged into by an unknown reckless driver.
I received the gloomy details courtesy my maid. Time: 9.30 am. Damage: Emblem ripped off, Bumper hanging out. Witness: None. (Yes, on a crowded, buzzing with life, weekday morning. I can totally see why Nobody Killed Jessica can happen in our country). Assailant: Absconding.
I heard in silence. My heart held anything but silence.
2 voices babbled within me. The Intellectual one; saying ‘Don’t react. It is a mere material object; not worthy of emotional attachment. The mind always blows out of proportion a minor problem. Intellectualize the problem.’
The Emotional voice sobbed, “It is not a mere material object. She is My car. My baby!’
Intellectual said, ‘Possession is a Momentary Joy; and Permanent Agony at the thought of losing it.’ When I brought her home 2 years, the dread started: regarding the First Scratch.
My Liva is an electric blue. The tiniest scratch would stand out like a jagged scar. Why hadn’t I listened to my brother’s sensible suggestion of White or Silver? He then offered me another sensible suggestion, “Make the first scratch yourself. It will hurt less.’ I had shuddered at the mere hint.
Back to today. As I rode down the elevator, I steeled myself for the inevitable. Practical one reminded me gently to carry the home key(or you are stuck outdoors), turn off the geyser (nobody wants two accidents to crash into their lives). Intellectual one prodded me- ‘Visualize the damage and make it as worse as you can. Reality will seem much bearable in comparison. ‘
Emotional one screwed shut its eyes before they saw. Practical one glanced to see if the car was jutting out; badly parked? It wasn’t. I was not guilty. Then why? Out of all the cars parked in a row…unaffected. Why my car? Why Mine?
Intellectual one reasoned , ‘It could have been worse.
1.You could have been inside when the other car banged into it.
2.You could have been the cause of your car accident.’
Maybe. It could have been worse. Perhaps the blow we receive is a pre-softened version of the one meant for us.
Emotional one stooped over the car, with trembling lips. ‘No, it was not mere metal and paint. She was my darling. Hurt, bruised, ripped. I wanted to scoop her up in my arms and carry her home. She was my private Oasis from the humanity overflowing outside it, my Chariot. Mine.’
Wynand says in Fountainhead, ‘Whenever anything becomes Mine; it acquires a special quality, a halo around it.’ I identified completely with him.
The Practical one assessed the damage in cool detachment. It checked the Insurance date. Checked the PUC. Mechanically reached for the service station and dialed an appointment.
Tomorrow, the mechanic, the truly emotionally-detached will decide whether my Baby gets hospitalized or waltzes home with a mere band-aid.
So, is ‘Emotional detachment’ a farce?
If a Philosophy is not practicable, can it still exist?
What does your car mean to you- Possession, Object or Beloved?
saral said:
Pillo tu car madhye navhatis kinva tuzya carmule aanakhi konas ha manastap zala nahi hech jast mahattvache ! Sub thik hoga !
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sweetyshinde said:
Exactly, in retrospect, one can think of so many worse possibilities. and then one , sort of, accepts reality as the least bad occurence .
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pkdeka said:
two different you… talking … great way of representing your thoughts ….
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sweetyshinde said:
Thank you, pkdeka (I take it isn’t your real name) Three me , actually. It is amazing how the mind works in such situations to balance out one’s responses.
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pkdeka said:
i am sure it’s not only three .. in fact it’s plenty .. ha ha ha …
My name is Pradeep..
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sweetyshinde said:
Hello Pradeep. I can see ur gravatar, but not your wordpress site. Are you a blogger too?
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pkdeka said:
try pkdeka.wordpress.com… i will expect your feedback
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sweetyshinde said:
Found it now. But you need to go and change ur settings on Gravatar, since it still mentions an out-of-use website. It will lose you potential followers.
So please make the setting changes on Gravatar, for your blog’s sake. Cheers!
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pkdeka said:
done … and thanks for your suggestions…. few things changes life … 🙂
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sweetyshinde said:
Most welcome.
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sunil said:
Ironically, the ad that was served to me at the bottom of your blog showed a tin pot. While I feel your pain, dear sis, that’s exactly what a car is – a tin can
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sweetyshinde said:
No. In that case a house would be just a mixture of wood, cement, bricks and metal. But it isn’t.
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sunil said:
mmm … The house is a wood shed. It gets a soul only when you call it home …
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sweetyshinde said:
my car gets an identity when it becomes mine. In fact, now you got me started on my next article…the idiosyncrasies of my cars. MAM 97, Matiz and Liva all have personalities. even MXK4288.
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sunil said:
Looking forward to reading it.
Lets add the Hero Honda to the list that made you take your first CT scan (I guess we can talk about it openly after all these years. )
You also had the Cherokee for 4 weeks …
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sweetyshinde said:
ooh, yes. Why forget the bicycle you taught me to ride?
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sunil said:
Folks to thank/remember for these wheels: Simi – MAM 97, Nitin: Hero Honda, Bicycle: Ashok Mama ( Ajay Bhaiyya) …
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nambiarajit said:
good read … emotional detachment is not a farce or crap , it is an important process of spiritual evolution!! well u spur me 2 write on my learning curve???
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sweetyshinde said:
Spurring one another on is good for everyone. Waiting to read on that one. I am sure emotional detachment is achievable; I am just far from it right now. Someday, maybe…
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Harliqueen said:
I get too easily attached to things 😀 My car, named Jester, is such an important thing for me!
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sweetyshinde said:
I know, once we give it a name. It transforms from ‘it’ to ‘he/she’.
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diahannreyes said:
First of all, I’m sorry to hear about your car. Secondly, your careful breakdown of the contradicting voices in your head made me laugh because I can so relate. Isn’t it funny how the most annoying moments often have innate inner comedy built into them.
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sweetyshinde said:
Yep. Except that the humor strikes us much later into the future.
Wouldn’t it be fun if we could experience every event as if it is happening in the past? when the pain has receded, the irrelevance of the event in view of the bigger picture has emerged and we can laugh at it?
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diahannreyes said:
Yes, that would be lovely!
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Dilip said:
Nice post! It’s very natural to get upset some folk get over it sooner than the other. In my case I take it to the garage immediately and restore the bump 🙂
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dr sweetyshinde said:
Thank you, Dilip. Only, it never goes back to normal as before, does it?
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